The Retreat Into Madness (feat whoMI​?​)

from by Joey Alpha

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Doctor, doctor there must be something that i can take, that can maybe take away the aches and all the pain and help erase these stains that have debased the remains of my brain. My current mind state needs a day-to-day lobotomy, attempted pain diversion trying razor blade phlebotomy. I need a house call doc, what’s your diagnosis? Agoraphobic manic with acute psychosis. And they wonder why I never leave home. Not opposed to contact, I prefer to be alone. Quotes on post it notes are posted all over the walls i feel safe and secure in my abode fit to implode, let it out, explode. Psychological lock picking, i will crack the code open the door, take a step inside me, turn back around lock it up and swallow the key locked out of myself, i tried to turn the knob, but the door’s forever closed, regretful of my exit i stick my fingers down my throat, gag, i couldn’t get it back. You can almost taste the irony, long behold that the key to unlock me is locked deep inside of me I’ve waited for weeks, how much longer will it last? I can feel the key scrape as I wait for it to pass, eventually the skeleton revealed itself at last. There was no key, just a jagged piece of glass a shattered shard of my broken identity, I tossed it along with my wishes in a well because I’m the most screwed up person in the world tell me doctor do you think i can fix myself?

You’re gonna lose, so why even try, never learning to live, so I’m waiting to die.
Please take me far away this place just makes me scratch scars in my face. Can’t take it lying naked try to fake it, misplaced faith in hatred. Haunts my every move, blood on my costume, too scared to leave the room. Peeping through the blinds so I can find who tries to hide and sneak my mind is fast asleep afraid a sheep is made so please behave the pleas were made and went unanswered. As the cancer grew disaster grew closer to the anger. It sealed our fate we turned our back on danger, stranger things have happened. Asking questions, different answers; does she mean it when she invites you in, another game, a different faceless grin. Growing smaller as we swallow all our pills of life our wills collide. These stupid pillow fights, collectively we can get it right. Wrong again, I must pretend, finding it harder to extend my hand, it’s drier than the sand. The walls of reality are finally closing in. Out of time, but I must remind myself with what will ease denials touch. SO I look at my reflection in my piss puddle, SMILE YOU FUCK!


from Tales From A Drifter, released November 8, 2016
(Lyrics by Joey Silva & Chris Paulos, produced by Tyler Larsen)



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